The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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