Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
