Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
