arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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