I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i need some magic done to my vagina
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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