they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
