I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just found puke in my bra..
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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