I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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