You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
