that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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