dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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