Do you still have your period?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize