I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
