I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
