Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
vagina is talking i cant
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize