The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
be right there i have to get my cape
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize