I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
