Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
