dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
