'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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