You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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