I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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