I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
