Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize