Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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