hell yes lets make some ravioli
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
