When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize