and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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