The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
