i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
