Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
