so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
