i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
