Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
