In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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