Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
