My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
