My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
