She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
