How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Randomize