did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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