i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
