Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
