I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
His nipple licking is glorious
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