I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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