Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
