Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Even my vagina gasped.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
