They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
