If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
