Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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