hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
