This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
