She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
