I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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