Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
