Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize