when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
