Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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