you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
