Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I believe in your delicious
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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