I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
