who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
