You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
