Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You have to summon your inner elephant
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
