She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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