A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
