I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
