My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
