He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
