i just google imaged poop.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
