yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
