Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize