did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Come see our sink grown plant.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
