there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
