Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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