Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
