I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
