I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
