dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Randomize
