I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize